mancha_sama: (bleh...ironically)
mancha_sama ([personal profile] mancha_sama) wrote2011-07-11 11:31 am
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Homestuck: Unplanned Parenthood

Yeah, remember that meme thing I did? I did others. And then I decided they were hilarious and needed their own mini-fills. Thus, this. I will be putting more up, I'm sure, as I write them. Maybe even another today! We'll see.

1. Describe the children of ERIDAN and ARADIA? Are they good parents?

Eridan often tries to teach his gubblings the superiority that they inherently have by having his genetic code in them. Aradia often puts him in a time out.

No one was quite sure what had happened, except that it had started with John being overly curious and pressing buttons 'because they were just asking to be pushed, really!', and had ended with an explosion, a majority of the asteroid residents screaming in various degrees of anger, surprise, or excitement, and several squeaking grubs crawling around the floor of the lab. There had been a moment of worry that some of the new grubs would get underfoot in the chaos that followed, but they had without exception made a bee-line straight for Karkat, swarming up the angry troll's legs despite his flailing limbs. Karkat had been about incandescent in anger, though by the time things had calmed down he was the only one with a negative opinion on the situation.

A situation, Aradia reflected, that probably meant this was another doomed offshoot of the alpha timeline. She was a little peeved at that, but resigned herself to the inevitability. It was both and advantage and a disadvantage sometimes to be able to understand the complexities of the space-time continuum. At least she could just relax and enjoy life before everyone died horribly.

Though Aradia had to admit it was a bit hard to enjoy life when she had to contend with the fact that John's ecto-disaster had created grubs using very human-like logic. Rather than direct clones of blood, the new grubs were a combination of their, for lack of a better term, 'parents', and it had come up with some unusual combinations. Aradia was quite sure she'd seen a yellow colored grub with Gamzee's horn structure chasing after a bright red grub with shockingly human blue eyes. This should have brought a fair amount of amusement into her life, and it honestly did, as Aradia had a hard time not poking fun at Karkat's embarrassed horror. It was just that…

"Stop wwriggling," Eridan snapped at the grub in his hands. It was a royal purple color very similar (or exactly) like the sea dweller's blood, but its eyes were the dark red of Aradia's own. The immediate sympathy she had received once the other trolls had found out about her unplanned parenthood with Eridan had soothed Aradia's own irritation. Besides, the grub was adorable, its questionable creation aside.

Aradia honestly wasn't even sure what color blood the grub had, though Eridan's offer to cut it open to find out had her putting him in an isolated time bubble for ten minutes to deter any other such bright suggestions. He had apparently taken the punishment to heart, because instead of further murderous actions he had taken to trying to teach the grub how to be a 'proper troll'. Currently he was trying to get the grub to hold up his ray gun in its tiny crawler legs, and Aradia was resigning herself to having to be the disciplinary in this twisted human familial setting she found herself in.

"Jarvvis, stop being so crabby! If you wwant to be a respectable troll wwhen you groww up—" Eridan broke off with an exasperated growl as the grub failed again to support the enormous rifle. The grub merely smiled up at the scowling face above it, wriggling legs tapping excitedly against the metal. Eridan had taken it upon himself to name the grub, claiming the right to do so by blood, status, and a bunch of fish puns Aradia had ignored for the sake of her sanity. It was an acceptable name, at least, though if they lived long enough for it to grow older it could pick its own name when the time came.

Aradia sighed as Eridan nearly brained the grub when the rifle slipped, then approached the pair in a few swift strides. She couldn't let such blatant spoiling continue. She tapped the sea dweller's shoulder, and smiled sweetly as Eridan half turned to peer at her with an expression that was both defiant and full of dread. "Eridan, please let me have our…progeny."


Her smile stretched a little wider, sharp teeth just showing from behind her lips as she held out her hand expectantly. She was rewarded as he hastily shoved the grub into her hands none-too gently.

"Wwhatever." He crossed his arms, cradling his gun to his chest and putting on an honest to gog pout. "It's not like I wwanted—"

Aradia didn't bother letting him finish, sure it was going to end in another insufferable fish pun, before she froze him in another bubble of isolated time. He would have to learn sooner or later that she wouldn't put up with his self-indulgent attitude. The grub might actually pick up on it, and then she would have to discipline it as well. Having to take care of raising Eridan to be a less intolerable asshole was hard enough!

The feeling of little pinpoints of pressure on her palm made her look down at the grub curled in her hand. It was trundling in little circles, before it reared up and wriggled its legs at her imploringly. She cuddled the happy grub to her face for a moment, giggling at the little trilling clicks it gave off in excitement. There were a few fun things she could think of to do in this doomed timeline that she couldn't normally contemplate.

"Come on, Jarvis. Let's cause a few paradoxes!"

Oh god weak ending fml...

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